Long Service Award

Haha! Even i can’t believe that i’m actually receiving this award.
Honestly, before i started work in this company, i never thought that i would stay in a company for more than two years, talk about five years?! That’s even more ridiculous.

But here i am, still in the same company…five years and counting.

Who would have thought that the girl with a striking golden hair, thick black eyeliner, wearing a mini jeans skirt who came to the office for an interview would be selected and even managed to stay and climb up the corporate ladder and in the technology industry?

from 青春美少女 (random individual pic taken from the year i entered workforce)

to 熟女.

Nevertheless, all these years i’m glad that i have grown both professionally and personally.

Thanks to people around me who are constantly supporting and guiding me, helpful colleagues, supportive bosses and friends who are there whenever i needed them.

Well, nobody knows what is gonna happen in another 5 years time, perhaps i might still be writing the same content again haha! Till then…

Happy Fifth Anniversary, not.

14th May marks my fifth year in my current company.

Instead of the yearly celebration which my cliques (most of us came in around the same period) and i used to, this year was different.

If you noticed, the clique group has became smaller and smaller, people leaving the company one after another. I know that’s reality and it’s happening at every company. There’s no such thing as colleagues forever and there’s really nothing much we can do about it.

Two of our clique members will be leaving the company by end of June and that leaves the clique members number from six to four. 🙁

Apart from departure of clique members, there’s something about this fifth year anniversary that hit me, real hard even till now when i’m blogging about it.

Probably because suddenly i realized that i’m really turning 25 (mid twenties) already. I’m no longer young like Day 1 when i started work, back then i thought i still have plenty of time to figure out my life , i live my days with the flow, taking whatever that comes to me.

I still remembered people asking me (including my boss) what is my plan for the next 5 years or what’s my plan next. “I have no idea and i don’t have a plan.” that’s my answer. Now, i’m already in the “next 5 years” and this is where I am.

If you asked me during age 20, if i do see myself the way i am now, my answer is no.

However, i’m pretty glad that somehow it ended up well, thanks to my bosses and colleagues’ help that contributed to my current success.

Although everything is good at work, but personally, i felt that this shouldn’t be the way i live my life. I should start to take control of it. I need to define for myself what is important to me, what does success mean to me, know what i really want and have concrete plans to achieve it. I don’t wish to have my “next 5 years” going with the flow again.

I am having a hard time answering these questions to myself, but i believe that once i found my answers, change is definitely going to happen in my life from the day and i really anticipate to the change.

Do share your experience with me, i hope you can help me find my answers soon. =)

Happy 2012!

Time really flies fast, looking back at my 2011 resolutions, i realized i made a big mistake of making such a vague and broad resolution and – not only i have not overcome it, i realized i am still the same old me.

This time round i have made measurable resolutions *proud* and i hope i can cross them out one by one by end of 2012!

1) Organize at least 1 mini flea / booth to sell away clothes and earn at least $100 profit
2) Save up for 2013 lasik surgery (est. 5K)
3) Travel to Bangkok with family (est. 2K)
4) Launch website portal
5) Complete at least 5 books
6) Provide family allowance of at least $250/month (est. 3K/yr)
7) Personal + Parent’s health checkup
8) Flu Vaccine for family
9) Complete Hepatitis A vaccine course

Let’s review it again by June 2012. Remind me!

Tribute to my dearest grandma

I always remembered how she told us about her stories of her younger days, how she really love to sing and perform in front of the stage at school. (i guess my interest in singing is inherited from her)

She used to travel back and fro between Singapore and Malaysia as her sons were all staying in Singapore while her daughters and her house is in Malaysia. She’ll be sleeping at my house for a few days in my brother’s room and sometimes a few days at my uncle’s house.

Whenever she come to Singapore, she never fails to bring me and my brother’s favorite snack 香饼!She loves singing and will sing whenever she feels like it and sing along when my dad is having his KTV session at home.

That was all before she had Dementia. Slowly, she’s unable to recognize everyone, even her own children. It came to a point that she was too weak to walk and was wheelchair bound. And she never could come to Singapore anymore. We only got to visit her during CNY and every CNY, we can clearly see that her condition deteriorated.

As much as we knew that her day is coming soon, but didn’t expect that the last time i saw her was going to be on CNY. I remembered that day i was at work and i got the news of my grandma’s death through my cousin’s fb status. I tried to call back home but my house phone was engaged, i called the second time and my mum picked up. She asked me to get back home as soon as i can, we’re going to head back to M’sia.

Now, i hate scenes where there’s impromptu, sudden and urgent decision to head back M’sia because it’s always due to some bad news. The same scene happened during my grandpa’s death.

When we reached the funeral parlour, it was already night time and all my relatives have arrived. It was really a very quiet night.

My family took over the burning of incense papers, all i can do was to keep folding as much as i can, for grandma to have as much to “travel” with.

I believe grandma will be alone and afraid on her “travelling” way, so probably with more “money” she can feel safer.

Something i learnt from the elders, the different types of incense folding represents different values.

This type which is super easy to fold, represents like “$1”?

While this type which requires some skills and patience to fold, and looks like an ingot, represents “$5”!

Not sure how true it is, but of course, no harm trying! Here are the steps:

Take this bigger incense paper, it’s much easier to fold than the normal small ones.

Fold the lower left hand corner

Do the same for top right hand corner

Next, turn over the paper

Fold the paper into half, top parallel to each other

Fold the sharp side corner into the “pocket” of the other side

and you get the end result, just push out the bottom and it becomes a 3D version.

Every night, we have to go through the rituals and the continuous standing and kneeling totally made my legs go jelly and shaking!

Surprisingly, my parents’ legs were all fine except me >.< probably i’m the one who exercise the least.

Different color uniform represents different generations and relationship to the deceased.

White = Children / Spouses of children
Dark Blue = Grandchildren
Green = Great Grandchildren

Seriously, i just hope that i would never need to wear the white color ones. =(

My little nephew is very obedient, he did the things we told him to,

like folding of the incense paper

and taking the joss stick for praying…love him max!

On the last day of the funeral, we had to burn all the incense paper and all other things like “houses”, “cars” etc

and we have to shout for grandma to come and collect them, “婆婆快来拿” !

Since my grandma love music, her children decided to hire a band to sing for her, my dad and uncle also sang a few songs for my grandma. Last glance of my grandma, which was very disheartening seeing all my relatives crying. This is seriously one of the most difficult moments at a funeral.

sending grandma on her last journey..to the crematory
Another difficult moment was when the coffin was pushed into the cremator and we have to shout for grandma’s spirit to run as not to get burned by the fire. “婆婆快跑,快跑啊!” We kept shouting and as loud as we could so grandma could hear us.

It’s a feeling indescribable that after living on earth for years and just one day, a person’s life can just stop and the body can be burnt into ashes within a few hours and vanish from the earth totally.

After collecting grandma’s ashes, we brought them to Malacca and placed it at the temple where grandpa’s ashes were. Bidding the last goodbye to my grandma, may you find a better life and happiness at the other world.

2010 closure

I have been procrastinating much about writing this entry.
Probably because i have been thinking and wondering what exactly i want and my direction of life before i come out with my list of resolution for the year.

I know i really want to have a different life.
Definitely a more challenging and motivated one.
Maybe doing something i have passion in?
I’ve kind of figured out where my passion lies but i’m not too sure.
And now money matters alot to me and my family.
Passion or Money?

After some self reflection, I realized i have this bad habit of <PROCRASTINATION> and <LAZINESS>.
It’s affecting my whole life!

Very bad.

I’ve been telling myself to complete tasks but even during weekends, i’ll just sleep my day away.
How i wish it’s like *tadah!* Tasks done after i woke up from sleep!
i bet i would have completed tons of tasks.

And it seems like my concentration level has deproved significantly. I get distracted easily (even when i’m typing this entry, i’ve went to check facebook, twitter, surf around multiple times and even a short nap in between). I wonder is it because of myself or something wrong with my health that i encounter fatigue and loss of concentration so easily, probably the former.

I figured that i have been too lenient to myself, after the tough schedule in 2009 which i had decided to give myself a break. Too lenient that i found myself losing the motivation to work hard or perhaps no definite goal for me to pursue anymore.


Sometimes there’s too many things on my mind, my mind is in a mess and i do hope i can get my mind to start thinking and get organized, at least get things i wanted to do settled ONE by ONE.

I’m glad that <3 is always there when i needed some good advice but i hate the fact that he’s always able to pinpoint my bad points and reprimand me. >:(
Well, nobody likes to hear bad stuffs about themselves, sometimes i get upset and demoralized, but nevertheless, it did trigger myself to think, reflect more and become a better person (at least a little bit).

And i guess for now, what i should do first is to be able to </PROCRASTINATION> and </LAZINESS>.

That should be able to solve one big hell problem of mine and my life.